Bootyyy 1, Zombies 2
Driving home last night on "Zombie Highway" nothing seemed different, at first. You had your dinosaurs, your Zombies, and your blood lust. Nothing new, right? Oh, but there was. The Zombies have recruited a new ally in the war against me. A foe so powerful that not even I can fight it! The powerhouse im talking about is the Moon.
Now I know what your saying "How is the moon scary, you psycho?", well let me break it down for you like Darrin's Dance Grooves. Like most of my fears, the moon poses no "real" threat to me except for the possibility of making it the Death Star, oh and the moon's ability to make normal folks like you and me into "Werewolves". Other than that, the moon is pretty harmeless, right? WRONG! The moon can scare me unlike any other planet in the earth's gravitational pull. Last night, while driving innocently down that dark and dingy road made of sand and banana peels, I look to my left and that do I see? The moon, huge and blood red as if it too was eating brains, staring at me! Why does it have to be blood red?!? And since when is the Moon the size of a fucking dinner plate? Is it crashing into us? WTF?!?!?!?! And so the fear sets in....
Ive decided that im going to lay down some ground rules for the moon. It just seems like it thinks it can be any color or size that it wants to these days! Crazy! Those rules include but are not limited to :
1. The moon can not be red, orange, amber, yellow, mustard, eggshell, puce, putty, ivory, or any other color besides white. Off light grey is also unacceptable.
2. The moon must NOT be larger than a quarter according to MY field of vision. If it exceeds this size, I will pretend that it is a clay pigeon and shoot it.
3. The moon must sign a treaty with the UN that it will NOT become allies with the Zombies or the Mormons. Failing to do so will forfit any trading of nuclear arms and cigars with Cuba.
4. The moon will also sign a truce with me promising not to scare me anymore. Its just plain mean.
Look, the point is that, just because your "the moon" doesnt mean you can just do whatever you want. There are rules and regualtions, and if there arent, then someone will make then up for you. Even the Zombies have a strict regiment that they adhere to. Everyone needs structure.
Driving home last night on "Zombie Highway" nothing seemed different, at first. You had your dinosaurs, your Zombies, and your blood lust. Nothing new, right? Oh, but there was. The Zombies have recruited a new ally in the war against me. A foe so powerful that not even I can fight it! The powerhouse im talking about is the Moon.
Now I know what your saying "How is the moon scary, you psycho?", well let me break it down for you like Darrin's Dance Grooves. Like most of my fears, the moon poses no "real" threat to me except for the possibility of making it the Death Star, oh and the moon's ability to make normal folks like you and me into "Werewolves". Other than that, the moon is pretty harmeless, right? WRONG! The moon can scare me unlike any other planet in the earth's gravitational pull. Last night, while driving innocently down that dark and dingy road made of sand and banana peels, I look to my left and that do I see? The moon, huge and blood red as if it too was eating brains, staring at me! Why does it have to be blood red?!? And since when is the Moon the size of a fucking dinner plate? Is it crashing into us? WTF?!?!?!?! And so the fear sets in....
Ive decided that im going to lay down some ground rules for the moon. It just seems like it thinks it can be any color or size that it wants to these days! Crazy! Those rules include but are not limited to :
1. The moon can not be red, orange, amber, yellow, mustard, eggshell, puce, putty, ivory, or any other color besides white. Off light grey is also unacceptable.
2. The moon must NOT be larger than a quarter according to MY field of vision. If it exceeds this size, I will pretend that it is a clay pigeon and shoot it.
3. The moon must sign a treaty with the UN that it will NOT become allies with the Zombies or the Mormons. Failing to do so will forfit any trading of nuclear arms and cigars with Cuba.
4. The moon will also sign a truce with me promising not to scare me anymore. Its just plain mean.
Look, the point is that, just because your "the moon" doesnt mean you can just do whatever you want. There are rules and regualtions, and if there arent, then someone will make then up for you. Even the Zombies have a strict regiment that they adhere to. Everyone needs structure.
